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Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has always been the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and historic moments, especially in relation to football. It was quite amusing to learn that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Spare a thought for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom rather too directly, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity at Manchester City, the controversial forward entered a community college for toilet purposes in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then came in and was asking the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled through the school acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss by Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams energized, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies found him slumped – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of an arena marked for removal. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I closed the door after us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Quiet and watchful” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts on the school grounds with children he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|